The Sad Summer of 2011

Over at The House Next Door, critic Tom Stempel helpfully posted this list of disclaimer notices that have proved to be -sadly- fictional throughout the summer of 2011. (The only one he notably missed was some rule related to the ubiquitous James Franco…)

Yipee, it’s August, take one: That means there is finally a film in the multiplexes without stuff we have been inundated with all summer:

  • There are no comic book heroes.
  • There are no comic book characters from other Marvel comics that are only in this film to help promote future comic book movies.
  • There are no explosions, other than dramatic ones.
  • It is not, in any theater, in 3-D.
  • Nor is it in any Imax theaters.
  • There are no aliens.
  • It is not a tentpole for a future film series.
  • It is not the next, nor the last, tentpole from a previously established series.
  • There is not a single teenager in the film.
  • No actors change bodies in the course of this film.
  • There are no couples that are trying to have sex without emotional complications.
  • Except in reference to a certain pie, there is no use of bad language.
  • There are no fart, dick, or homophobic jokes.
  • There are no pirates, talking animals or talking cars in this film.
  • The African-American characters are not just in the film to be killed off so the white hero can get revenge.
  • However, just to let you know this is indeed a film from the summer of 2011, Emma Stone does appear in the film, but in a serious role.
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